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For My Freedom and Yours: Chapter 3

Title: For My Freedom and Yours: Chapter 3
Author: lady_nuriko
Rating: M/NC-17 for later chapters
Warnings: Abuse, Violence, Non-Con
Pairing(s): Implied Poland/Lithuania, Russia/Lithuania
Disclaimer: I don't own any nations either as land masses or anthropomorphised. Hetalia and all related characters belong to Hidekaz Himaruya.
Summary: Life in Russia's house doesn't seem so bad at first but the illusion of peace quickly dissolves and Lithuania is left trying desperately to cling to the memory of real love and the hope for freedom.

No one mentioned my bandaged fingers although Estonia and Latvia picked up the work my injuries made difficult for me without my having to ask. I wondered if they thought I deserved whatever pain my own stubborn pride got me. I certainly felt that I had been foolish to defy Russia so fiercely over such a small matter especially since the house had returned to such a state of calm. It felt as though the air had been cleared of a stifling pressure like when you open the windows in the spring after a long winter of being shut up tight. Russia was in high spirits, speaking freely of everything from weather to politics and doting upon his sisters with open affection. He engaged Latvia in a debate over trade and taxation, much to the boy’s nervous displeasure, and seemed pleased when Latvia worked up the courage to disagree with him on import policies. Estonia, for his part, made himself scarce, which seemed to be his way of handling every situation in Russia’s home. The drastic change in atmosphere was a bit surreal but I reveled in it, flitting from room to room doing my chores with a sense of calm that I hadn’t had since before I arrived. My fingers healed with time. I suffered a persistent numbness in my damaged first and middle fingers but took it in stride as a reminder to pick my battles more carefully in the future.

Time passed without my taking particular note. Snow and frost gave way under the persistence of the sun’s warmth which was too quickly swept away by chill winds warning of the frozen winter already on its slow march from Siberia. I sat in the kitchen listening to the wind howling outside with a warm cup of tea one afternoon when Russia found me.

“There you are!” He beamed at me. “I’ve been looking for you, Lithuania.”

I smiled and placed my cup aside. “What can I do for you, Mr. Russia sir?”

He held out a small box wrapped neatly in green paper and tied with a silk ribbon the color of rich chocolate. I stared at the package for a moment before gently lifting it from his outstretched hands. “Sir?” I asked hesitantly.

The end of his scarf suddenly had his rapt attention as he toyed with it nervously. I couldn’t help but notice the tinge of pink on his pale cheeks as he spoke. “It’s for you.”

As I carefully loosed the ribbon and pulled the paper from the box Russia became increasingly flustered shifting from one foot to the other. It was oddly endearing. When I finally lifted the lid off my eyes widened in surprise. I gently took the dark brown gloves and set the box aside. The leather was soft and the inside was lined in rabbit’s fur. “They’re lovely.” They were far more than that, but I had lost all words as I turned the finely crafted items over in my hands.

Russia only fidgeted more as he spoke. “I thought maybe, if you wanted to, you could join me on a ride sometime but it gets so cold out so I thought you could use them.” My eyes shot up to stare in open shock, not that the other man noticed intent as he was on his scarf. Apparently my silence prompted him to continue as his blush grew brighter. “And I thought they might be a nice gift for you having been here a year now.”

An anniversary gift? I suddenly felt as though I had missed something very important. Had I misjudged my role? I had thought I was only a servant here, never had any indication otherwise, but it would have been rude to decline. I slipped my hands into the gloves flexing my fingers and smiling at the sensation of soft fur against my palms. Russia was looking at me expectantly now and I couldn’t help the color that rose to my own cheeks at the intensity in that look.

“I’d be happy to accompany you.” The smile that spread across his face at my words seemed too bright for what I had agreed to but I brushed any trepidation aside to instead grasp the fragment of companionship offered.

My left hand was clasped suddenly in both of his and I flinched. The larger man seemed not to notice as he continued to smile and stroked my fingers absently as he spoke. “Good! Good! Tomorrow then? We can go down to the Пехорка-река maybe. It’s smaller than the Москва but I like it.” I nodded dumbly at the sudden enthusiasm. There was surely nothing so thrilling about a simple ride by the river but if Russia was this excited by it I wouldn’t voice my opinion.


The following morning over breakfast Russia turned to me smiling. “When you’re done eating if you would pack us a lunch and meet me in the front courtyard I'll get everything else ready.”

Belarus turned to her brother with a frown on her thin lips. “You’re going somewhere, брат?”

“Да.” Either he was oblivious to his younger sister’s narrow-eyed glare or he simply didn’t care because he continued on as though nothing was wrong. “I thought it would be good to get out of the house for a bit before the weather turns truly bad.”

“With him,” she practically snarled gesturing toward me with an elegant wave of a hand.

Russia nodded. “I invited Lithuania to join me. He spends too much of his time cooped up in here. He could use the fresh air, I’m sure, and I would enjoy the company.” Latvia nearly choked on his гренки although it was unclear if it was from the conversation itself or the withering look directed toward me was unclear.

Estonia patted the boy’s back as he coughed and Ukraine took that moment to interject her thoughts on the matter. “Well I think it’s a wonderful idea! We should all spend time getting to know each other.” Every eye at the table was on her now staring with varying degrees of skepticism. “Why don’t we each spend the day with one of you boys?” She turned her attention to Estonia who swallowed nervously. “I had to head into town to run some errands today. How about you come with me, Estonia?”

Estonia fidgeted in his chair glancing at Russia nervously to gauge his reaction however Russia seemed less than concerned with his sister’s request. With a sigh that was either relief or resignation Estonia nodded and smiled shakily. “I’ll gladly accompany you.”

Ukraine clapped her hands together and grinned. “It’s decided then. For today Rusya will take Lithuania, Belenka will take Latvia and I’ll take Estonia.” From his pallor I thought Latvia would faint right at the table, but he managed to hold himself together even under the weight of Belarus’ withering look.

The rest of the meal was held in tense silence.


I slipped on my worn boots, patched winter coat and new gloves and picked up the lunch I had wrapped in plain butcher paper and twine and went to meet Russia. As I came out the door into the courtyard I saw him waiting for me petting the white nose of the sable Don mare he stood next to. I came up next to him but said nothing preferring to simply watch the unusually gentle touch he used on the horse. “Shurochka is beautiful, isn’t she?”

Nodding, I hummed in agreement. “She’s a fine horse.” I meant it too. I had ridden many horses in my time for travel, work and battle and she compared to the best of them, lean muscle and sharp eyes with an intricately braided mane and tail just shades darker than her coat.

“Alright then,” the food I was carrying was swept from my hands and packed into one of the saddlebags, “up you go!” Without further warning Russia’s strong hands were on my waist and lifting me into the saddle as though I was a child who couldn’t mount a horse without assistance.

Once I was settled I looked about suddenly realizing that there was no other horse. “Mr. Russia, what about…” Russia chuckled and swung up into the saddle behind me. I swallowed hard at the proximity we were forced into and as he reached around me to grasp the reigns I pressed closer to him. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against my back. His coat was thick enough to keep his body heat from escaping and warming me but with his arms around me and pressed against me as he was I would be shielded from the worst of any harsh weather that may arise by his larger frame. I thought that perhaps that had been his plan all along as we started on our way.

The ride was slow and pleasant so I took the opportunity to admire the landscape. The colorful leaves of autumn that still clung to their branches and the crisp air just cold enough to see each exhale lent a pleasant atmosphere to the trip. Although neither of us spoke along the way it wasn’t a tense silence and I was almost disappointed when we came to the bank of the river.

Russia dismounted then took my hand and helped me down as well. I stretched my muscles, stiff from the ride, and watched as he spread a blanket on the ground for us to sit on while we ate. “Are you hungry now or would you like to wait a bit before lunch?”

“Perhaps we could walk along the bank for a bit?” Russia agreed and secured Shurochka to a nearby tree.

We walked for a while until I knelt down and took a pebble from the ground. I noticed the curious gaze of my companion as I tossed the stone causing it to bounce across the water a few times before sinking. His eyes widened and he let out a tiny gasp of surprise before taking a rock of his own and throwing it. Bemused, I watched it sink immediately into the river. Russia frowned, really more of a pout, and turned to me. I tossed another stone and we watched as it hopped a bit then sank.

His frown deepened before he asked, “How did you do that?”

I was surprised at the question and I’m sure it showed on my face. “Have you never skipped stones before?” Russia fidgeted under my curious gaze and shook his head. I smiled then and it felt good spreading thru me and warming me in a way no glove or coat could. “I’ll teach you.”

Once Russia picked up the skill we spent a good deal of time competing at stone skipping. By the time we decided to have lunch we had both accumulated quite a few victories and defeats. We sat on the blanket eating with smiles still lingering on our lips.

“It’s been a good day.” Russia’s voice was soft as he gazed out over the sparkling waters of the river. He looked contented for once, as if the weight of the entire Russian Empire wasn’t balanced carried on his shoulders, and in that moment we were just two men.

Smiling all the more I matched his tone. “It has been.”

I should have noticed a change in the atmosphere or anticipated his next action but as the soft leather-clad fingers pushed the hair away from my face I froze my mind spinning in confusion. He leaned towards me hand still on my cheek fingers tangled in my hair. I watched in mixed fascination and fear as he came closer and closer, then our lips met. It was just a soft press of his slightly chapped lips against mine and it only lasted a moment but in that moment the only thought that processed in my mind was, ‘Sudas’.


Пехорка-река: Pekhorka river. A tributary of the Moskva River.
Москва: Moskva. Referring to the Moskva River which Moscow is named for.
брат: Brother in Russian (also in Belarusian and Ukrainian conveniently)
гренки: Grenki. A Russian food similar to French toast.
Rusya and Belenka: Just cutesy versions of Russia and Belarus’ names. Ukraine uses “chan” after their names but that would have sounded weird with them not speaking Japanese in the story.
Sudas – Shit in Lithuanian

Author’s Note: If I was naming my chapters “Sudas” would be the title of this chapter. Ugh. I didn’t mean for it to take so long to get this chapter out but then Russia decided to be all bipolar on me and my plans for this chapter fell apart from there. I’m horribly embarrassed by how long this took. I apologize because no one should have to wait that long to read an update that barely moves the plot forward. I’m pretty sure this will get things back on track though. Thank you all (if anyone’s still there) for your patience.



Russia - Traditional

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