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For My Freedom and Yours: Chapter 6

Title: For My Freedom and Yours: Chapter 6
Author: lady_nuriko
Rating: M/NC-17 for later chapters
Warnings: Abuse, Violence, Non-Con
Pairing(s): Implied Poland/Lithuania, Russia/Lithuania
Disclaimer: I don't own any nations either as land masses or anthropomorphised. Hetalia and all related characters belong to Hidekaz Himaruya.
Summary: Life in Russia's house doesn't seem so bad at first but the illusion of peace quickly dissolves and Lithuania is left trying desperately to cling to the memory of real love and the hope for freedom.

Tension hung thick in the air wherever I went in the house. Estonia and Latvia both kept their distance as best as they could, given they were sharing a room with me, Belarus had adopted a perpetual glare, Ukraine tried to lighten the atmosphere by talking about the effects the unusually nice weather would have on this year’s crops, and I was trying desperately to avoid getting caught alone with Russia. None of our efforts were any use. Estonia and Latvia shared chores with me more often than not, Belarus’ glares seemed to keep her on edge as much as anyone else, Ukraine’s attempts at conversation generally fell flat, and Russia’s persistence was eventually able to overcome my desperate evasion.

Ukraine had finished drying her last dish and left me to wipe down the counters while she stoked the fires when a hand landed on the curve of my spine. I jumped dropping my washrag and before I had a chance Russia was bending down to pick it up off the floor. As he knelt his hand slid down to rest on my hip. When he stood he left barely a breath of air between his body and mine.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I took the cloth from him and turned back to the counter I had been scrubbing. Even if I couldn’t distance myself physically without being conspicuous I could hopefully create some emotional distance between us. “It’s fine. You just startled me.”

His other hand joined the first and began kneading lightly at the tense muscles in my lower back. “It seems you’re always busy lately. We haven’t been able to spend any time together.”

My body was struggling to decide if it wanted to tense up more or relax into the unsolicited touch. “We have dinner together every evening.”

The talent of Russia’s fingers won out and I started to relax under the gentle pressure when he leaned forward letting his breath tickle my ear as he spoke. “I was hoping we could spend some time with each other alone.” If his words hadn’t been clear enough the husky undertone to his voice said exactly what he wanted.

I pulled away as gently as I could and turned to face him. “Mr. Russia,” I chewed my lip for a moment trying to find the least inimical way to say what I needed, “I don’t think it would be prudent for us…”

“I understand.” My eyes went wide as I stared up at the expression of understanding that the other man wore. Had it really been that easy? Was Russia willing to give up so quickly after pursuing me all that time? “You just need a little more time, дa?” My hopes were died as quickly as they’d blossomed as one of Russia’s gloved hands landed on my shoulder. “I can wait for now.” He leaned forward and captured my lips in a kiss. I felt his hand move to rest lightly against the back of my neck as he lingered a moment. As he pulled away a smile curled his lips. “Don’t make me wait too long.”

After my encounter in the kitchen I finished my chores as quickly as I could and hurried back to my room in hopes of taking some time alone to think. I wasn’t going to get that chance. I opened the bedroom door to find Latvia sitting on our shared bed. His eyes shot up to me as I entered and I sent him a reassuring smile before digging my night clothes out of the dresser.

I heard him clear his throat over the rustling of fabric as I pulled my shift over my head and turned to see him taking from under his pillow a neatly folded piece of parchment with familiar curling script across it. I froze, my eyes glued to the letter. “Latvia?”

He fidgeted under my gaze hands tightening causing the paper to crease. “E-Estonia doesn’t think I should t-tell you, but…”

“Where did you get that?”

Latvia bit his lip and smoothed the letter back out. “We got one too, Estonia and I that is, but P-Poland sent you one of your own.” He forced a smile to his face as he spoke. “That’s n-not a surprise, though.”

My throat was suddenly dry. “It surprises me after the last letter I sent him.” I licked my lips. “I wouldn’t have sent one if I was him.”

“He never s-stopped sending them.” He slid off the bed and I rushed to snatch the slightly wrinkled parchment from off the blankets where he left it.

My Dearest Lithuania,

More than any other I’ve sent I pray that this letter finds its way safely into your hands but I imagine this correspondence isn’t secure on either of our ends so the chance that this will reach you is slim. You’ll have to excuse the lack of detail. Worry of interception forces me to be vague but I still feel what little I’m comfortable writing is important to convey.

You have likely heard of the events unfolding across Europe and doubtless your people are becoming restless just as mine are. I have watched with both excitement and trepidation France’s movements and it is in this tense moment as we collectively hold our breaths waiting for Napoleon to sound his trumpets that my people have mustered their strength. They are not Prussia’s and won’t fight for his cause. They will instead march for their own freedom and my sovereignty and I will charge into battle alongside them.

Please do not misunderstand me. I am not writing you to ask for aid or to encourage you to take the same actions. I know that this endeavor is foolhardy and while I am willing to give my own life for this cause I would never forgive myself were I to risk yours. This venture carries a very real threat of death and the partitions left me vulnerable in a way unlike any I have experienced before however to entertain the possibility of failure would be to invite my own demise so I won’t allow myself the luxury of speculation. From the farthest corners of my land and the deepest recesses of my soul I’ll believe in victory. I will win my freedom, and when I can once again stand on my own land under my own banner I’ll win yours as well.

Love now and forever,

If the handwriting hadn’t been distinctly his I would never have believed that Poland had written that letter. In all our years together I could easily count the number of times he had taken such a serious tone on one hand and only at our introduction had he been so formal toward me. My heart ached for a glimmer of the light-hearted air I was accustomed to from him.

I sat heavily on the edge of the bed clutching that thin sheet of parchment tightly to my chest. Latvia cleared his throat to draw my attention and when I looked up my heart leapt into my throat. He had pried a board up at the far end of the room to reveal neatly stacked piles of letters bound together with twine tucked away beneath the floor. “I kept them all.”

“But how? I assume Russia doesn’t know.”

“Of course not.” He smiled slyly. “I’ve been bribing the courier. He leaves them behind a loose stone in the stable wall and I leave a few coins for him.”

My eyes widened. Money was very limited to us. Add that to the danger if Russia had discovered what he’d been doing and that he’d obviously not intended to actually deliver these letters to me and this was bordering on ridiculous. “There have to be hundreds of letters there. I owe you quite a lot.”

He shook his head. “This one makes four hundred and fifty eight.” He waved his hands quickly at my shocked expression. “You don’t owe me anything though. Really. You’ve done more than enough for all of us. The way things were before… It’s so much better now with you here.”

I nodded solemnly. I didn’t know how well Russia had treated everyone before I had arrived but it wasn’t difficult to imagine what it might have been like for everyone without someone for him to focus his attentions on.

“A-anyway, I already owed this t-to you,” He stuttered out keeping his eyes carefully averted.

Before I could question what he meant the swung open causing us both to jump. Estonia looked back and forth between us a few moments before closing the door behind him. “You should be more careful. Anyone could walk in.” Latvia shuffled his feet guiltily. “And you,” he turned to me, “Don’t get foolish just because of what Poland said.” He waved a hand at the letter I still held.

I strode across the room laying it with its kin and replaced the board hiding the letters away once more. “I understand your concern but I think it would be a good idea for each of us to keep an ear to the ground. If by some miracle his plan works Poland will gather his forces as quickly as possible and begin his campaign to reunite the commonwealth and even if he falls,” my throat had suddenly gone dry and I had to swallow hard before continuing, “the chaos that comes in the wake of France’s army may give us opportunity to reclaim our lands.”

Both of them were listening intently to me and as I looked at each of them wearing such serious expressions I was reminded of all the battles they fought under my command. “If either of you sees an opportunity to escape Russia’s control you should take it.”

Latvia wrung his hands and looked up at me with watery eyes. “I thought m-maybe we could… t-together…”

“Our best chances are likely to come individually.” I let my hand rest on his shoulder. “If a good opportunity arises for the three of us to leave together we’ll take it but I don’t want you to wait for that. Be cautious, wait for the right time, and get out when you can regardless of our situations.” He nodded reluctantly.

Author’s note: I swear I have a good excuse for being late this time! My computer died… then there was kind of a real-life crisis… then it was Halloween (which is kind of a big deal for me) and this whole thing just got put on the back burner. A whole month late this time but here I am!

I’m sorry the story’s moving so slow. Every time I think I’m getting somewhere a bunch of extra plot and character development gets in my way! OTL Thank you so much to everyone who’s continuing to read this. Knowing you’re out there makes me want to work hard to make this story as good as it can possibly be. I was reading over the previous chapters and there are so many typos! It’s so embarrassing! I’ll work on editing those so I can re-upload them with my next update. With Christmas coming up things’ll be hectic so I’ll say… January 10th?


Russia - Traditional

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